And jokes
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
Memes
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?
He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion for 10 years, 2001-2011.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"