And jokes

What is similar between Hitler and Trump?

They both want to keep races out.

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?

I don't eat burritos.

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?

The apple actually gets picked.

What do a stool and an emo have in common?

They both sit still.

What goes up and down and needs two people?

A seesaw.

ATTENTION EVERYBODY: I am the owner of this website, and I will be deleting it in 5 hours. Thank you everybody who has participated in this website's life. Goodbye!

Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...

Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.

So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.

There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.

What vibrates and is 6 inches?

A toothbrush.

"Knock knock."

"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"

What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.

A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”