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And jokes

Soda

Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.

Orphan

The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.

Battery

A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."

Walk

I did a walk today and I had to walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and I had a good time with you and walk home from home and walk walk home and I had to.

Memes

And memes

Lobster

What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

Skeleton

A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."

Rear

What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?

John fucked them both in the rear.

Time

How do you kill time?

Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.

Mosquito

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...

Papa

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

Ball

Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁

Programmer

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."

Difference

What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?

A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.

Routine

I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.

Yo mama

Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.