And jokes
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
What is the difference between a knife and a feminist?
A knife has a point.
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.
Are your forehead and hairline old friends because they go way back?
What's long and black? Centrelink line.
Memes
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he'll be warm the rest of his life.
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
What's the difference between your mum and the Twin Towers?
I would smash the Twin Towers.
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.