And jokes

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.

You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.

If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?

It's funnier when kids get it.

What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?

The emo is still hanging.

Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.

Marleigh is so fat and ugly.

What does Fortnite and real life have in common?

They both lost their tower.

Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!

Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?

What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.