And jokes

What's long and black?

The line to KFC.

What's Christian and holey?

JFK.

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?

Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

What’s the difference between a job and a wife?

The job keeps sucking after 5 years.

Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.

Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?

Stuart Little got chosen!

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?

Nothing. They are both just memories.

What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

The criminal is wanted.

What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?

Jesus got pegged against a cross.

Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.