And jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

My family is like treasure; you need a map and a shovel to find them.

A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

What's Christian and holey?

JFK.

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Person: You're so ugly.

Me: You ugly.

Person: I'm not a mirror.

Me: And I'm not your reflection.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?

Nothing. They are both just memories.

What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

The criminal is wanted.

What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?

Jesus got pegged against a cross.

What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.

Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?

What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?

Stuart Little got chosen!

What is black and long?

A line at KFC.

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.