Anal Sex

Anal Sex jokes

Man

    • A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.

    So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."

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    • Wife

    • Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.

    Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.

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    • Asshole

    • What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?

    The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

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    • Difference

    • What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.

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    • Superman

    • Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

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    • Patient

    • Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”

    Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”

    Patient: “Right around the entrance.”

    Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”

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    • Bit

    • What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?

    Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣

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    • Car

    • Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

    All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

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    • Sex

    • Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.

    One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.

    So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.

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