Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.
Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.
Anal Sex Jokes
What does Jeffrey tell his white teens?
You want to take it orally or through anal? Joke, I'm not asking.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Knock, knock.
*takes out penis*
Who is there?
Butthole 😎
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”
Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”
Patient: “Right around the entrance.”
Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”
What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?
Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
One day, I love you.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Me.
I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?
Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.
One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.
So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
Porn.
Why don't gay Greek men have anal sex with each other in Greece?
Because anal sex between gay men is against the law in Greece.
Why do people have sex?
Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"