What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people? Death.
Why can’t Americans play chess They lost 2 towers
guy talking to an Indian therapist
he had a red dot and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said
"I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle"
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
Scoucer at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer by what time is it mate? American replys thats a mad accent were are you from ? Scoucer says liverpool american oh what state is that in? Scoucer looks around and says about the same state as this mate but what time is it?
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets? cuz thats how many kids are in a class
Americans: we drive on the right side of the road
The British: we drive on the left side of the road
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD *crashing noises follow*
what Americans and rubix cubes have in common?
they both have a history of separating colors
Wait 911 is the American emergency number...
So In revenge of the sixth when Anakin goes and kills the younglings I thought to myself hey it’s just another day in an American school
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go barf, American dogs go woof and Chinese dogs go sizzle
What show do orphans hate? American Dad
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I asked an European what do u call Karens in ur country he said American women
it’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped up kicks"
