It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
What show do orphans hate? American Dad
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."
Why are Americans so bad at class royals?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Americans are so fat they named a atom bomb called fat man to describe themselves
americans live in the U.S.A. the quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
Two Native Americans 🥴🥴🥴
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?" The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer. His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?" Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"
The statue of liberty is French she ain't even American deport that bitch!
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
(If it's unoriginal, I apologize. My friend gave me this joke.)
-Signed, AdmiralKizaru.
Yo mama so American she deported Dora the explorer
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean! British: At least our towers didn’t fall😎
