American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
American Jokes
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
If Canada had to apologise for Bryan Adams on several occasions, it's only fair that Americans are tortured and waterboarded for bringing Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood to the world!
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
Why are Americans so bad at class royals?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
What show do orphans hate?
"American Dad."
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
Two Native Americans
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"
