American jokes
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
Why are Americans such good marksmen?
Because they had plenty of schools to practice their shooting.
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
Like this if you're an American.
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
Bessie Coleman - I don't want to be a flier cause I am African American.
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!