Always jokes
At school I am always called emo.
Little did they know that emos are wannabe goths.
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.
Latias is red.
Latios is blue.
You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.
It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
A skeleton decided to become an assassin.
He was always skull-king around!
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
Why will America always lose in chess?
It lost its two towers!
Why are dead baby jokes always funny?
They never get old.
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.