Always Jokes

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...

"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?

Heaven always has 5-star reviews.

It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.

A skeleton decided to become an assassin.

He was always skull-king around!

Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.

The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”

why will America always lose in chess?

It lost its two towers!

Why are dead baby jokes always funny... They never get old

Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny... They never get old

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.

How do you know when you're disliked?

When they always give you the camera for group photos.

Why are astronauts forgetful?

They're always spacing out.

Me people call me emo.

Older cousin: Why?

Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

"My name must taste good; it's always in your mouth."

what is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down? What in the Robot!?

People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?

What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?

They always come back.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )