Already jokes
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."
The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"
The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."
So my brother said we should start a band, and I said I already had a band. So I gave him my band and he said he was talking about music, and I said, "Well, I do have a trum-bone ;)"
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
Yo mama's so poor, I knocked on the front door of her house and realized I was already outside in her backyard!
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, because she's already WORLDWIDE!
What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
Why is it called a building if it's already built?
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"
The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.