Airplane

Airplane jokes

Bomb

    • A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"

    Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"

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    • Shower

    • They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

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    • Airplane memes

    Friend

    • best friend makes 9/11 joke.

    you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

    best friend: "I'm sorry."

    you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

  • 10

    • Genie

    • A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.

    The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"

  • 3

    • Flight Attendant

    • It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

    "What are my choices?" the passenger said.

    "Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.

  • 1

    • Comedy

    • I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

    And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

    It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

  • 1

    • Mom

    • Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF

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