Airplane jokes

dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(

I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.

The twin towers: No, it won't.

An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.

It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."

The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"

The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"

The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.

Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.

Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.

The pilot goes "We're going down!"

The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"

What do you call a flying bus?

An Airbus.

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

Hey Hunter, Thomas here.

Why did the plane cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Thanks guys, remember to like it, means a lot!

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

Why did Hitler lose the war?

Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, "No".

Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

She replies, "No."

Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

His mom says "No."

He asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"

He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world? Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.

So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.

You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.

Why were the Twin Towers mad at 9/11?

They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain.