The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
