Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
How do cows like to play games? Moobile (Mobile).
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
What is the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked!
What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common? They both need a hoe to stay in business
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
