Agriculture jokes
I lick cows for my mother.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
It's still called a "cow."
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
What do you call a gay cow? A gay cow.
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?
Dead mooves.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
What did the cow tell an Indian?
Moo!
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"