What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
What did the cow tell an Indian?
Moo!
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
