Age jokes
Here's a sex joke.
What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.
What goes up but doesn't come down?
Yo mama so old, she was accepted for the museum.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
Yo mama so old, when she left the antique shop, the alarm went off.
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
Yo mama so old,
her memory is black and white.