Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
Yo mama so old,
her memory is black and white.
Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was, like, with one, and she kept on saying, "I'm too young."
I like my clocks like I like people.
Under 12.
Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.
