What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Afterlife Jokes
"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven.
Oh, wait... never mind...
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.
