Aed jokes
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
What's the worst time to fly a plane?
Your balls are growing too big that they will pop like a balloon!
A girl has small balls.
Iron Man is just a golden retriever with a red background.
Why can't an orphan win a baseball game?
Because they can't reach home.
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
Q: Why can't Asians play baseball?
A: Because they ate the bat!
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.