Aed jokes
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
What's a rapper's favorite drink?
RHYME-A-RITA
How do rappers greet each other?
With a "Mic check, one-two."
I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
What do you call people with ADHD?
A brainless speeder.
Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?
To see his FUTURE in the STARS.
Why did the rapper take a shower before the concert?
To WASH AWAY the haters!
Why did the rapper become a banker?
Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.