Aed jokes
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":
"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Would you rather eat a brick or a matter baby?
Q: What do you call brown mixed with yellow?
A: Someone who just ate beans.
A, B, C, E, F, G. You smell like a baby. Maybe you should not be "Hati-ey."
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."