Actuality Jokes

What is the same thang between apples and orphans

Apples actually get picked

why do orphans love GTA because they are actually wanted

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan an apple actually gets pick

What do you call a rocky formation covered in meat?

Meatcanyon

(meatcanyon is actually a yt that has like 1M subs so watch some of his content if you want to lol)

why does it actually scare me ;-;

There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs Jones walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked "so, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered "no way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied "never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said "school has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized...*fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"

Trump's cabinet are like panties. Some crawl up your butt, some snap under pressure, & some actually cover your butt when you need them..

Have you ever wondered how would your teachers look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25 years old english teacher. Id bang her if she were 20 years younger.

There are 4 people ona plane while its crashing and there are only 3 parachutes theres opera, Obama a little girl and, Trump opera grabs. Parachute and says, "I'm famous i get one" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well im president of cource i get one" and obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since your the future or our generation take the last one" the little girl hugs obama and says, "Actually we can both have one Trump took my backpack"

What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?

An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!

Am i the only one here that actually tried to kill my self 15 times and failed every and landed up in the hospital every time

The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on pole-tree.

My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.

Lemme just say one thing:

Depression is not funny. 2 of my best friends have it and its actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. Its really not funny to joke about depression.

3 guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet and the psycho one says "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have"

The first guy says "Ha! My girlfriend has 6! I'm racked up!" The second guy said "Eh, I am happy with 2 balls" The third guy said "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

A guy listening in enters and says "Bro you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?: