Abuse jokes

I like peanut butter and honey.

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?

My stepdad did beat cancer.

You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.

What's the difference between family and cats...

Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.

Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.

I look at your bro.

And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*

My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?

He grew up a Florida Man, after all.

What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.

Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?

A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.

What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?

Little boys' pants half off.

What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?

Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.

What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?

A pedophile.

What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.

What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.

Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.