Abuse jokes
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?
Fingering A minor.
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
What’s a pedophile’s favorite shoe? White vans.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”