Absence jokes
Why don't headless people have a head in class?
Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD
What do you call a dog with no tail?
A tail-less dog.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
He had no body to go with. XD
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
What do you call a person with no eyebrows?
Ms. Burgos.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
My life, get it, 'cause I don't got one.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
My dad is like a unicorn.
He's never here. :c
My dad left me.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he’s dead.
You idiot.