Absence

Absence jokes

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Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

"Really?" asked a little girl.

"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

  • 0

    • What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

    Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

    This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?

    Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.

    Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.

    Years later:

    Dad still did not come back.

    Little boy: Are you an orphan?

    Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

    Little boy: Your parents.

    You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

  • 4

    • My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

  • 5

    • The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

  • 5

    • I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.