Absence jokes
My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."
Your Parents
What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?
I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.
What did the no head man say?
"Haha!"
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with!
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
Why don't headless people have a head in class?
Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD
What do you call a dog with no tail?
A tail-less dog.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
He had no body to go with. XD
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
What do you call a person with no eyebrows?
Ms. Burgos.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
My life, get it, 'cause I don't got one.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.