Absence jokes
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I've never heard them.
Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow! What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I got nothing.
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
What is a pirate's favorite letter? A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
My family is like a treasure.
You need a map and shovel to find them.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.