Abortion jokes
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
This is Riley abortion clinic. Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
Q: Name a murderer?
A: Jews: Hitler. Russians: Stalin. Chinese: Mao. Americans: Bin Laden. Aborted fetus: My mom.
Q: Name a murderer?
Aborted fetus: My mum.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.