Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Wade
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?
Not getting the job at McDonald’s.
Inflation is so bad, McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
What was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on the 42nd floor? The 43rd floor.
What is 9+9? 18.
What is 9+10? 19.
What is 9+11? -2996.
Why do people hate jokes about the World Trade Center?
Because it's an easy target.
Batman on gender equality: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/I36ypJEyYpo
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!” The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator the World Trade Center collapsed.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.? Tourists.
What did the helicopter say to the mountain? “Kobe!”
Hellen Keller walked into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table.
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
