Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
Wade
Hahah, funny joke!
Credit to Burn in Hell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5a0jTc9S10
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!
Where did Joe go after getting lost in a minefield? Everywhere.
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
How can one make Death Row a little more fun?
Musical electric chairs.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.
Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) It’s Dave! (Dave who?) Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!
What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? Alive.
What would the world be like without women? A pain in the ass.
What do an Apple and an Emo have in common? They hang from trees.
Why is suicide illegal? Because it destroys government property.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl? A cutting board.
What do you call a gay French man? A faguette!
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is. She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.” “But mom I’m blind!” says the kid. “Exactly,” replied the mom.
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
