What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
Wade
@wade
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
Yo mama so fat, the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”