You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
Vasya2003
@vasya2003
Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
A: Cha-ching!
Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Yo mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I wanted my first time to be special.
Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?
A: Because they can't multiply.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Q: Why don't Indians play soccer?
A: Because every time they're in the corner, they open a store.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.
Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.
Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.