Q: What's really long and black?
A: The line at KFC.
Vasya2003
@vasya2003
Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
A: Alien vs. Predator.
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!