What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?
A shitty plant-based patty.
Vasya2003
@vasya2003
Why are female pornstars like Krispy Kreme donuts?
Because they get glazed on both sides.
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
How can you tell a woman's pussy is good?
You smell her fingers.
What did the black kid say when he went to the confession booth?
"Daddy?"
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
What do blonde chicks and Asians have in common?
They both drive with their blinker on.
What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?
None, because they both forget a lot.
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.
How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me later!"
Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.
What's something you shouldn't tell a paraplegic that's being confronted by a bully?
Just walk away.
When it comes to mosquitoes in Africa, should you feel bad that they're getting AIDS from their victims?
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
What do you call a bus full of stoners?
The Magic School Bus.
Roses are red,
Lilies are white,
One race ends up dead
And the other ends up bright.
I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."