Vasya2003

You're so sad that you make the Great Depression look like a better time period to live in.

What's black and doesn't work?

A filthy porch monkey at the zoo.

Who's a rapper that likes to walk around naked?

Nudacris.

What do you call it when human vegetables die?

Spoiled food product.

What do you get when you cross a car with a woman?

A transmission that never shifts.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a lollipop?

A cocksucker.

What do women and wine bottles have in common?

They both have necks for grabbing, and holes to plug and unplug.

Wanna know why your pussy reminds me of a garbage bag?

Because you fill it, stretch it out, and let it stink for weeks.

Why can't gay men be handymen?

Because they'll be caulk fighting on the job.

That last brain cell must've been your dad, because it left without you knowing.

Did you just kill the last brain cell you have? Or are you just plain stupid?

What do dogs and lesbian women have in common?

They're both lickers and called a bitch.

Dogs are better relationship partners than you. Wanna know why? They're loyal, patient, love unconditionally, smart. Traits you clearly lack, you cheating ass bitch.

I'd rather kiss a cactus than kiss you. Wanna know why?

Because at least I'd feel something with the cactus than I ever could with you.

You're so ugly that you make Caitlyn Jenner cry.

Your sense of humor is like being a short bus kid: it's retarded.

Why are women like parking spots?

Because all of the good ones are always taken first, and you gotta wait until they're available again.

If you eat pussy, and if you are what you eat, does that mean eating pussy makes you a pussy?

Your insults are drier than your pussy.

What's the difference between a suicide bomber and your mom?

A suicide bomber doesn't abort their mission like your mom did when she had you.