What do you and Quasimodo have in common?
You're both hideously ugly and hide in the dark.
Vasya2003
@vasya2003
What do Woody and Hitler have in common?
Their bodies go limp before they get caught.
You're so ugly that you made Hitler commit suicide.
You remind me of a pencil.
Why?
Because at one time, you actually made a valid point. This time, everything is pointless with you around.
Your taste in men is like my taste in humor: dark.
Why do white people get abducted by aliens?
Because they're easier to see in the dark.
You're so full of shit that you need a colostomy bag to clean you out.
What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?
A shitty plant-based patty.
Why are female pornstars like Krispy Kreme donuts?
Because they get glazed on both sides.
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
How can you tell a woman's pussy is good?
You smell her fingers.
What did the black kid say when he went to the confession booth?
"Daddy?"
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
What do blonde chicks and Asians have in common?
They both drive with their blinker on.
What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?
None, because they both forget a lot.
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.
How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me later!"