What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?