My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
Shower thoughts
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
I told my brother If he wanted to have a Wonderful first day of school then he should put cook book in the women’s sports section at the school library.
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics? Walking.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa? A water gun
What do you call a blowjob in Africa? Breakfast
What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle? Optimistic
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood His hand Caught on fire
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.