Amaurotic Idiocy

Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?

A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.

When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?

I have no problem with prostitution.

It's like an Air BnB for your dick.

Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?

When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?

A. A backroom deal.

When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?

It's often said that people peaked in high school.

I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.

I don't beat up midgets.

That would be punching down.

No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.

Explain Bear is always there for you.

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.

Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.

Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.

The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.