Amaurotic Idiocy

Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?

A: Makes a Down payment.

When I tell people my girlfriend's packin', they always think she's really good with a gun.

She's actually transgender and on the waiting list for surgery.

Your momma so slutty, she masturbates with the Calgary Tower.

Yo Momma so slutty she uses a SpaceX rocket as a dildo.

Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.

And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.

Q. When is it bedtime at Jeffrey Epstein's house? A. When the big hand touches the little hand.

Yo momma so old, she was at Cain and Abel's baby shower.

Your momma is so fat, she eats insulation and thinks it's cotton candy.

Yo momma so ugly, she got a job ringing the bells at Notre Dame.

Trump keeps calling people "nasty", "failing", and "disgusting".

Doesn't he own a mirror?

Q. What's a compulsive masturbator's favourite food?

A. Jackfruit

Q. What do iPads and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?

A. Kids turn them on.

Today is Elder Abuse Awareness Day.

Unfortunately, they're still not giving lessons on how to beat an annoying Alzheimer's patient without leaving a mark.

I forgot to tell Alicia I saw her mom a couple days ago.

In a porn video!

Yo momma so slutty, she won't even be offended by this joke.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?

A. There was a daycare on the other side.

I think I was a little too harsh on Jason.

Anybody who was conceived in the back of a pickup truck during a family reunion is bound to have a few issues.

Q: What do hookers and kittens have in common?

A: They both get dumped on deserted back roads.

My local pet store sells prong collars to get dogs to behave.

But when I tried them on an Alzheimer's patient, I got fired from the nursing home.

I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.

I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.