Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.
There's four people on a roof: a Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, and a white guy. The Mexican walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. The Asian also walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. Then, the black guy walks over to the edge and says, "This is for my people," and pushes the white guy off.
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.