Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."

what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.

Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,

If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.

A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.

I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”

Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”

A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?

On the COWch (couch).

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    • A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."