Worst Jokes Ever

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."

I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.

I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.

My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.

Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.

Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.

What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"

This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.

There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.

Why did the boy get run over?

Sally was driving.

I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.

Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?

You can't beat a cheetah!

My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.