Worst Jokes Ever

I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.

Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.

There's something on your chin. No, not that one, the third row.

What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."

What do you think of your mom? I can do it.

An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"

Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?

Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

In 2016, Americans took "Orange is the New Black" to a whole other level.

I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.

I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.

These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.

When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?

What is italian sausage?

The dick of a gay italian.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,

HOLY SHIT, MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?

An avalanche.

How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?

The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.

What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after the lesbian vampire was done licking the pussy of the heterosexual woman?

"When is your next blood period?"

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?

A: They were both shot in a theater.