Worst Jokes Ever
My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Damn, I love being a sniper.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
How to get quick cash:
Step 1: Kill a child's parents.
Step 2: Do foster care for them.
Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. Does it cycle?
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?