Worst Jokes Ever
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde, and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard, and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde, and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me, and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark, and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
Yo bro, look at this twig I found on the floor. Wait...
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
I can’t stand jokes about Germans.
They’re the wurst.
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
Why was Saudi Arabia sad during 9/11?
Because there were no more planes.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Yo Momma so hairy, she has to shampoo her armpits.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.