Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.
But he nailed that mountain.
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
Hi, I am Michael Jackson, pronouns are HEE/HEE!
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.
I fucked your mom.