Worst Jokes Ever
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
Why was 10 scared of 9?
Because 9 8 7.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.