Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
Three guys are walking in a bar. A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist. That was just the first guy.
Rape jokes aren’t funny!!! And definitely not something to joke about, what’s wrong with ppl, like seriously what a world we live in. This is sick!
To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.