What kind of tests do rappers always pass?
Sound checks!
Worst Jokes Ever
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always have BARS on their GPS.
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of pants?
BOO-TY JEANS!
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
Why do jeans always compliment your booty?
Because they’ve got your back!
Why did the pirate go to the gym?
To improve his booty strength!
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
Alien vs. Predator.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
Why don’t butts ever win at cards?
Too many farts!
Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
My wife told me to contact more of my feminine side.
I crashed the car and fucked my trainer.
