Worst Jokes Ever
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Why are theaters popular among cows?
They enjoy watching moovies.
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."