Worst Jokes Ever
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
Why did the chili blush?
Because it was so hot!
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
omae wa mou shindeiru.
Nani?
What problems might a blind child run into?
A wall.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
Arms.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...