Worst Jokes Ever
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
What happens when you suck?
You succ.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.
Once I heard a joke about chocolate. It wasn't that funny, so I just Snickered.
Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day.
It wasn't that funny.
So I just Snickered.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
"You gave me the same sweater as last year."
"You s w e a t e r believe it."
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
"The f*** am I even doing here?"
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Hi.
Hi.