Worst Jokes Ever
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream Cheese 😱.
JAW don't know sh*t!
What did Charizard say to Arceus? "Knife to meet you, literally. I got you out of Pokémon Sword and Shield!"
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
What is a car?
What is magic?
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
What do you call a magic car?
A human.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
What is a home that can fly?
A magic house!
What is a magic car? One that flies!
What is the difference between a human and a can?
A human can walk and a can cannot walk.
Why doesn’t Chuck Norris flush the toilet?
He doesn’t have to, he scares the shit out of the toilet.
omg hot.
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.
A boy was following me for 8 years, even into the stall. I finally told him I’m not gay.
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.