Worst Jokes Ever

Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.

Which president has never gone to jail?

Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

How do you pet a psychopath's cat?

You get it out of the microwave.

Cereal.

Kid: Hey, Dad.

Dad: You're an hour late.

Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

Dad: By yourself?

Kid: No.

Dad: A boy?

Kid: I was with the teacher.

Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

*The next day*

Uncle: F*CK!

My sister's boyfriend is mad because I fucked his girl.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

War isn't about who's right. It's about who's left.

qestrrrr.

A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."

On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."

Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?

A: Depends how hard you throw them.

What do you call a dog with 2 legs?

It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.

You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.

What does the Fox say?

Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.

I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.

You are the joke.

You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.