Worst Jokes Ever
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
Your nan.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
Haha, you're gay!
What is 14 inches long and starts with D?
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me: Then which one are you?
Eggshausted.
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.