Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
Are you fin-ished with your work?
Roses are red, Velvet is blue, So are violets.
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
Your mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl!
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
What do you call a midget that waves at you?
A microwave.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
I'm a turd.