Worst Jokes Ever
How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"
Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
What are clowns good at?
Ignition of the bus engine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrdQcalibEo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GC7S6BZVXkI
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
I'm sorry, none of my jokes are very punny.
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
If Italy attacked France from the rear, would Greece help?
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.
That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?
"Windows Shut Down."
Why are mountains never serious?
Because they’re hill areas.
What do people often say in a cold Mexican kitchen?
Brrrrrrito!
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?
It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.
After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."
So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."