Worst Jokes Ever
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
What is yellow but can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
I am the joke.
My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."
Everyone loves orphans,
other than their parents of course.
What's a convict's favorite song?
"I want to break free."
"Suck my sugar, honey, it's very sweet and juicy."
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?
“Because they always wanted a daddy.”
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
What do you call a wingless fly?
A walk!